The disease of unknowing




The more minuscule our connection to our own subconscious

the larger the threat of being taken over

by obsession, compulsion, posession and exterior influence

and the farther our dreams run from our grasp

and into our shadows

-White Witch







Take a few moments to FEEL your heart beating within your chest.  Can you feel it at its origin? within the flesh itself?

BEGIN at your wrist, feel your pulse, the outward expression of an entirely internal process which is hidden from your consciousness and yet occurs within your own body every minute of every day. CAN YOU FEEL YOURSELF LIVING?

Can you become aware of what occurs within your own flesh?


Start with your pulse, travel up through your rivers of blood. go into your blood.  Feel it pull, feel it push.



Feel how it pulls you.

Go up into your arm,

go up into your neck.

Slowly, oh so slowly,

SPEAK YOUR NAME, feel how your blood pushes your throat to open at your command.

Take a deep breath, follow your blood into your chest, feel it swell into your lungs go into your lungs, feel them surround your heart in the center,

feel the blood enter your heart feel it leave your heart,

feel the pulse from where it begins.

SEE the blue flash that creates all movement from whence your tiniest movements arise from this single, repeating pulse that never ends while you are in this form.

Come into a deep embrace with your own animal.




BE within your heart and surrender to its force, feel it in every part of your insides.

Feel your insides.

TRY and make your pulse slow down.

TRY and make your pulse increase.

Stop breathing,

for just, one moment my love,

one moment,

die a little bit.

do not breathe, do you feel it fighting?



Can you hear your heart, do you have the courage to speak its name? Can you link it to your mind?

Can you love it for what it does for you?



If you can, do it now.


The Magnum Opus




It is through the force of my sadness

That I am driven to Joy

My anger, brutal and relentless,

ensures my exaltation in my rise to seek forgiveness

and forgive.

The ravenous beast that is my grief and suffering

has shown me the power that love can bring





I am thinking on how I love you

And it sends me as an arrow

And I am going to my graveyard

And I am going down deep

descending all alone

inside the black parts of my bones

and I am building

golden thrones

in which shall sit

an arrangement of birds

pulling with their wings

straining through my veins

crying out through my eyes

lifting them to the skies

and the Sun

shall take me as its daughter

I will no longer seek a Father

and the garden made of gold

shall a diamond reveal

burning every eel


till the truth be told

-White Witch


Hallelujah Hallucinations





   Also written as * halucinari, the Latin verb from which the term hallucination is derived. The terms alucinari and halucinari probably came into use during the first century AD. At the time, these words had the connotation of wandering mentally or being absent-minded. They have their root in the Greek verb aluein, which means to wander, to be distraught, to be beside oneself, or to be outrageous. It has been speculated that the word ending –cinari mightstemfromthe Latin verb vaticinari, which means to rave. As the American neuroanatomist Fred H. Johnson says, “Hallucination is an appropriate medical word, and it is more than a coincidence that ‘to wander in mind’ is the meaning of alucinari from which is derivedhallucinatus and the term hallucination. The ending cinari is due to the influence of vaticinari, meaning to rave, and comes onomatopoet-ically from the hooting of owls and at first indicates behavior like that of night birds, such as an oil bird.”

present active vāticinorpresent infinitive vāticinārīperfect active vāticinātus sum (deponent)

  1. prophesyforetell.
  2. (figuratively) I singcelebrate (as a poet).
  3. (figuratively) I raverantspout foolishness.

Vatican Look up Vatican at Dictionary.com1550s, from Latin mons Vaticanus, Roman hill on which Papal palace stands. Said to be an Etruscan loan-word, not related to vates “sooth-sayer.”āns

hallelujah Look up hallelujah at Dictionary.comalso halleluiah, 1530s, from Hebrew hallalu-yah “praise ye Jehovah,” from hallalu, plural imperative of hallel “to praise” also “song of praise,” from hillel “he praised,” of imitative origin, with primary sense being “to trill.” Second element is yah, shortened form of Yahweh, name of God. Replaced variant formation alleluia (12c.).

Hallel: A jewish festival of reading the psalms:

“Its place following Sukkot suggests that God wants to memorialize what is planned for when the time period of “wandering” in these mortal bodies and rebellious minds finally comes to an end, and humankind enters total lasting “rest.” […]”-Hallel Fellowship

WANDER:  from PIE root *wendh- “to turn, wind, weave” (see wind (v.1))

wind (v.1) Look up wind at“move by turning and twisting,” Old English windan “to turn, twist, plait, curl, brandish, swing” (class III strong verb; past tense wand, past participle wunden), from Proto-Germanic*windan “to wind” 


The Case of the Cupcake that Proved the Existence of Magic (even though the cupcake was never there)


I was having a discussion about magical types of things,

with a person,

and the person I was having the discussion with

told me,

quite matter of factly,

that they did not believe in magic.

So I stated I thought that was fine because belief was actually not necessary, it could be experienced first hand.

“prove it” was the response.

Ok fine,

name something you want.

Ok, I want a cupcake, with a cherry on the top.  I want a cupcake with a cherry on top on the corner of my desk.

If you can make a cupcake with a cherry on it appear on my desk, magic is real.

I took a piece of paper and said ok,

as I drew with a pencil a picture of a cupcake, I said, like this?  is this what you want?

Yes that is it, that is exactly what I want, was the reply.

Ok fine, but time is funny with magic, so give it a little time.


So, we waited.

And then.

one day,

a child came into his office and was sitting at his desk,

the child had drawn, with a pencil and paper

a picture of a cupcake,

with a cherry on top.

and left it in the exact corner of the desk.

A literal translation of the request, the exact replica of the object projected.

And then we

stopped having conversations

about whether or not magic was real.


I Am As An Animal




I can hear the cry of my spirit

It shrieks and moans

Please please please

Love love love

Dream dream dream

But then

I feel


I am possessed

as if I have a second skin

I am as an animal

It only wants to eat

the black hole of desire

Such is the nature of the suffering of the world.

When the call to consume

defeats and deafens

the screams of dreams and love,

the entities and enemies swarm with delight

as baleful bees

apocalypse is accomplished

through strategic orchestration

the vampire invited over the threshold

just for the thrill

The satanic invocation

The promethean deception

is the trick of the light

That in order for our spirit to survive this world

It must murder our animal

But just you Try

To kill an animal

With naught but feathers of wings

And gossamer rainbow light.

-White Witch